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How I learned to waste every day in sales & blame someone & everything else

I spent my first 5 years in the 6-8 car rut. So, if you want to struggle, too, here are my favorite tips on how I blew my first 5 years selling cars:

  • Get up just in time to get to work.
  • Come dragging in, grab coffee, and discuss any general nonsense.
  • Get other salespeople to agree how slow it’s been, so you feel better.
  • Visit your managers to build rapport and whine a little, so they might give you a house deal.
  • Look through the business cards you’ve been carrying around for a few weeks, to decide if today is the day to call them back. (Nope!)
  • It’s break time, the food truck’s there in time for a late breakfast.
  • Join other salespeople for a meeting about absolutely nothing of value, while you eat and rest a little more.
  • Check for ups. If someone shows up, wait a bit to see if they’re serious.
  • Just say ‘Hi’ to the lunch hour looker. He’s just killing time, so no point in trying to sell him anything.
  • Verify the negative with other salespeople, “Does it seem slow to you today, or is it just me?”
  • Tell your managers you’re going to MCD’s, if they want something.
  • Sit in the parking lot a while, and call your ‘other’ to visit. Explain it’s slow, so you’ll probably work late.
  • If it gets cloudy and may snow, always hope it doesn’t, but since it’s slow, ask to leave early just in case.
  • Check the customer lounge, and take 5 to catch up on Friends re-runs.
  • Oh, keep an eye on the new guy. He just grabbed a customer who said, “We just wrecked our car and need to replace it right away.”
  • Call a meeting of underachievers to discuss the new guy, and show anger; “We bust our butts all day & he took the customer I was headed to!”
  • When you’re all outside, call it to be next to take the up, “Blue van turning left”, but just your luck, they’re here for service.
  • Get a couple who are really interested, but decide they’re buried in their trade, so you suggested they sell that first and then dismiss them.
  • Afternoon snack truck is back, grab the only 4 day old donut that’s left, and another cup of coffee.
  • At 5, watch service customers pick up their cars and, “Whoa!” That guy who just pulled out in a new car was my customer yesterday that was stuck in their trade, that should have been my deal.
  • I finally got a decent up, but we don’t have the right car.
  • Time to call home and tell ‘Honey’ it’s been dead, so I’ll be late.
  • It’s 8:30, and finally got a live one, but my manager wouldn’t go enough on the trade. He has no idea what he’s doing on trades.
  • Yeah, Mr. Hotshot put 4 on the board again, but we all know managers feed him deals every month.
  • Time to head home after another slow day and no sales. I do all I can, but selling cars isn’t working out, and it isn’t my fault.

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Yep, that describes how I spent most days my first five years as the 8-car guy – how about you?

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